A Holy Experience

Have you ever experienced God? Not just a glance at the sunset, or at the beauty of a flower and known that there was a "higher being," but actually had an encounter with the Father of all creation; an experience that left you shaken to the core and left you without a doubt of His presence, peace and power?

I hope your answer is yes, because when you do, it is a life-altering, earth-shattering, mind-blowing event.

I've had two in my lifetime and they both were within a couple of months of each other. The first was in a dream so vivid that I woke up terrified with tears streaming down my face. I cried out to God in that moment, the deep cry that comes from the depths of your soul. In the midst of that pain, God whispered to me. It sounded as if He were sitting next to me on the bed with His arm around me and He gently told me, "No." No to the prayer of miraculous healing for my son; no to me getting to keep him here with me on earth. It was from that time that my heart's prayer changed. I knew His answer regarding my son's life, now I just wanted the opportunity to meet him and hold him before he went home to heaven.

In the early morning hours of April 17, 2015, I had my second encounter with my Savior. In that hospital room, he answered our prayers in a bold way. He allowed us to meet our son and spend four precious hours with him. We talked to him, cuddled him, kissed him, and cried over him. He cooed at us and Jake captured a video of him talking that I will forever treasure.

Shortly after, we both silently prayed over him. We told God that we were ready and he could bring Thatcher home. Minuets later, he was gone. As heartbreaking as it was to let my son go, it was the most beautifully profound moment of my life. It was a holy experience. I felt such peace and love in those moments and gratitude that God chose me to be his mom. Even in the thick sorrow of death, I felt my soul praising the Creator. A holy experience.

God has since been laying the word "revival" on my heart.  He has promised not to leave me where I was but to lift me up and more than restore my heart and soul. As spring arrived and the trees began to bud, my anticipation grew and I became more anxious to see what He has planned for my life.

"to grant those who mourn in Zion- 

to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, 

the oil of gladness instead of mourning, 

the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;

that they may be called oaks of righteousness.

the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified."  Isaiah 61:3

Here we are, one year later. I get to sit back and look at what God has done through one little life. My life and many others are changed for the better. So many things have been done in his memory that I will never know the full extent of. What an honor to have a son with that kind of legacy. I pray that I have a fraction of the impact on the world for His glory that Thatcher had.

I will keep running this race, now that I have seen His grace, with the assurance that I will see my son again some day.

"For me to live is Christ. and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21